Get Lost

Get lost here,
Once again.

Between the lights,
And the sky that turns darker.

Get lost here,
Once again.

Here, people are busy,
Keeping themselves attached.
Here, we can get lost.
Without being known.

All pictures were taken and edited by me.


May's Highlight: Learn to Forgive

And who ever thought that it is more difficult to forgive an ex boyfriend?

I was one of those people who thought that forgiving was easier than forgetting, but it's not.

Head's full of thoughts, dilemmas about the good and bad.  Self-reassurance is such a weird thing.  You can fake your thoughts for some years by repeating a made-up line.  Mine was, "I have forgiven him, I always have, I will.".  Well, Syifa has a habit of denial things that she tries not to bother (although it will always do), and ends up with a cognitive dissonance.  Because it is easier to say so, than wasting our energy for hating, or anger.

But sometimes, you need to express your anger.

Emotional coping, and self-healing are probably the soft skill(s) that everyone should have and develop.  Fight should be taught earlier, flight doesn't solve any problem (and the emotion usually stays still).  True that being flight for problems is easier; go shopping, listen to music, make yourself busy when you are sad - but once the activity ends, you end up filling your brain with the same problems, and cry.
Therefore, developing a fight reaction to problems is indeed needed.  Analyze, think, and importantly, action for the problems.

Forgiveness is probably one of the hardest thing that I am dealing right now.  People usually tell to let go, forget to mention that we have to forgive before we let go.  We can't let go things that still make us angry, holding a grudge that grow bigger each day.  It's like people tell us to sail, but forget to tell us releasing the anchor.  Now, as I grow older, and socially am demanded to act maturer, no one can teach you about how you can forgive someone.  Theoretically?  Easy, google it and bunch of forgiveness therapy articles are on your screen.  Practically?  Difficult enough.  It's like riding a bicycle, you have to get bruises, hurt, and fall all over again, until you balance yourself to move on.  You may stuck at one spot, you may fall, and sit for some time, before you finally move on.  Forgiveness has no tires, and pedals, that is why it is harder to practice.  Magic - you practice something unseen, but can be felt.

Days grow longer, and you grow older, so does the feelings you keep inside.
Therefore, before it's too late, and chronic, I am learning to forgive.


Playlist update :
Currently listening to Giraffage (and he's coming to Jakarta this June, still dilemma to see him or not), and toe.
I am in love with toe because it's post-rock, math-rock, which never fails to touch my heart.  Happy listening!



MEW Live In Jakarta 2015

31st of March was probably the best day I've ever had in 2015 - so far.

Short, my senior accidentally bought 2 tickets for Mew concert in Jakarta, and she asked me to accompany her.  I was (am - as always) broke, and unsure if I would watch it or not.  After all the dilemas about money, and so on, my friends told me that I should take it, the ticket had been meant to be mine.

So, I decided to join her to the concert.  We drove to Jakarta after classes, and surprisingly, no traffic jam.  But we were lost, thanks to Waze application, we made it on time to the venue.  We were speechless, unable to speak because of our excitement.  The queue line to the Skeeno Hall was pretty long, I was worried if I could not make it to the front row.

At 18:00-ish, the Skeeno Hall's gate is opened, and we were rushed to get in.  I was relieved for having a good spot at the left side of the stage, but not a front row.  We were waiting for some hours, about an hour, when at 20:00, Mew came out and we freaked out.

It chilled me because that was my first time seeing an international band - live.
I was breathless, because Bo was right some meters in front of me, and Jonas was not that far.  Jonas was there, he was so amazing, beautiful.  We screamed our lungs out, and Bo played the intro of 'Coffee Break' as the opening song for the concert.

To be honest with you, I had not listened too much of their first album, so I hummed along the song.  They brought total 17 songs (if I'm not mistaken), including my favorite Snow Brigade (that always on repeat, never get enough), Am I Wry?  No, Apocalypso, Silas and the Magic Car (I cried when they brought this song!! So beautiful!).

Oh, and it melted my heart when Jonas said, "Thanks for coming.".  It was the cutest thank you that I had ever heard in my life.

After brought Water Slides (their new song), they suddenly went to back stage.  We screamed, "We want more!" and they were back again.
The encore songs were Special (which was so fun!  Bo was so enjoying his play), and continued to Zookeeper's Boy (the best one OMG).  I really had fun!  It was the climax of the show, and they brought Comforting Sound as the closing song.

I cried during the Comforting Sounds were playing.  It felt surreal for me, and it sounded hundred times more beautiful than usual.  The sound, the way Jonas sang it, when Bo and Jonas laid on the stage, when the lighting suddenly went darker, only the blue lasers around.  When we were in silences, enjoying the melody.
I cried.
It was beautiful.

And as soon as the song ended, they went back stage, said that they would see us again.

I, until now, found it as the most beautiful moment in my life.  Saw my favorite band, live, second row.  I had no regret, I really am looking forward for their next performance, and the new album (that will be out this week!).

Here's the gigs that were recorded on soundclod (not mine, one of Indo Frengers recorded it!):

Thank you Mew,
For giving me the 1,5 hours of precious moment in my life.


Playlist : Current Earcandy-(ies)



My ears have been mesmerized by those chillwave / electric / instrumental hip-hop songs.
Should've made a playlist on 8tracks, but I have got no time for it so let me make it as a quick playlist or sneak-peak for my next playlist!
These songs have accompanied me for Forensic Task... and between the stress of the hectic days.

  1. Colour & Movement - Ryan Hemsworth
  2. Feel Like Losing You - PVNDV
  3. Mirror Maru - Cashmere Cat
  4. Music Sounds Better With You - Giraffage
  5. Brain - Banks (Prod. Shlohmo)

Enjoy!  And please be patiently waiting for my next post about my daily life ;)
Have a grand day, xx. 


Piledriver Waltz


There are things that left me cocked my head to the left when I had finished watching Submarine movie:

A naive guy like Oliver, does he still exist?

A girl like Jordana, surely crush-able, and she also has dermatitis atophy (yeay!), how come a girl like Jordana can be so classy?


Well, anyway.  I had been unwell for some days, it was a side-to-side effect.  I am glad I can be home, at least, but the sad part is I had to miss some quiz, and presentations.  We have like hundreds of another dates on calendar, but God has chosen those five days to be my day off.  God really has a great taste of humor.

Between all the medicines I am taking, and blankets that I cover myself with, Alex Turner's song (which is Submarine's soundtrack also) has been playing on my mind - Piledriver Waltz.

Personally because the part of 'you look like you've been for breakfast at the heartbreak hotel' is quite represent my condition now.  Heartbreak hotel.  Ha.  Mr.  Turner really knows how to describe a one of the worst place on Earth.  Nobody looks good when you just had your heart broken, and my health is like just being torn, checked out from the heartbreak hotel.  Short:  I look awful with my current condition.

So, I spent another peek at the movie, skipping some scenes, just to see my favorite part all over again.
Being sick is somehow gives me another time to watch my favorite movie.

If you're asking what I am having, I had food-poisoned, and virus.  Wherever you are, please be safe, and eat more healthy foods.  Being sick is not something cute, so please stay healthy.